i feel as if i sit on bleachers all the time just watching everyone else play waiting until someone else has to come and sit down. when they do, we talk for a bit, but they get up again with everyone else.
i don't want to force myself into their game. they have enough people on the field already, and are going along fine. then they'll go, together, for post-game whatevers, but to places way out of my way that i cant get to.
when they come back to play again the next day, the weird kid is still on the bleachers. sometimes when someone sits out, they'll stay a bit. we'll chat and maybe play our own smaller game of whatever to the side. but then they're either called back in, or realize the main game and the people playing in it are a lot more fun, so they get bored and run off right when i was having a good time with our little side-game. which they won't remember after a while playing with everyone else.
back on the bleachers, this repeats itself now and then.
sometimes the game looks so fun i want to join in. i'll get up, and try and find a place for myself. all the positions are filled and i'm just a bit out of place. i feel awkward, apologize for interrupting, and sit back on my bench, my seat still warm.
and this happens forever